Consuming Fire

I wake up with a start, groggily aware of a strange feeling. Caleb, my sweet canine companion for over seven years, has pawed and nudged me out of my comfortable slumber. I realize I'm in our family room having dozed off on our sectional after an evening of hockey and American Idol.

Sean, my husband, is there also, in deep sleep. This couch, our favorite couch of all time, has admittedly wrapped us in its overstuffed pillows and lulled us to sleep on more than one occasion.

Caleb is panting. I subtly sense that this is not his usual "gotta go pee" wake-up call. I follow his gaze towards the large glass patio doors a few feet away. He is not running towards the doors like he normally does when he has to relieve himself.

Usually, I do not prance easily into alert coherence after the slow and rhythmic dance of sleep, but only seconds have passed and I am sensing...feeling...and keenly aware of...something....

I am moving towards the patio doors, covered by four beautiful suede long hanging drapes that had not been completely pulled together....between the slight cracks of material I see flashes....I want to investigate.

What's that? and instinctively I know it's not good...though I'm not registering yet why or how...

"Sean..." I try to wake my husband as I move closer to the mysterious flashes...

There is a growing ominous feeling welling up in me...curiosity is turning to alarm. "Sean!" I yell louder and louder and by this time I've reached the curtains and pull them apart.

In that second Sean wakes up, and both of us see the entire outside patio is on fire. The flames look ferocious, licking and groping their way from the bottom all the way to the top of our glass doors....

I am dumbfounded...a wall of fire??

Sean yells, "the kids!" and we both race upstairs, tripping over ourselves, to grab our four year girl and seven year old boy...there is no thought now, only adrenaline....children, safety, children, safety...like a heartbeat.

We split at the top of the stairs without a word, mother runs for daughter, father runs for son. Children, safety, children safety...

We race down the stairs. I reach out my hand towards the coat rack to snatch whatever I can as I run past. Even in these frantic moments, I am still maternally aware that my children will freeze in their pajamas in this cold winter weather. Children, safety, children safety...

We reach the front door and I hear the smoke alarm go off. Within a few more seconds we are outside in the driveway, bare feet and scantily clad, and in my hand only one small boy's jacket...

I call my two dogs, Caleb and Ryley, and they are there at my feet, as they always are.

Sean turns instantly to return to the house and see if he can grab the keys to the truck and whatever else time will allow....

...and it allows nothing...he returns seconds later with black soot on his face...already it is too late.

Only 30-40 seconds have passed since I first woke up.

I can hear the crackling of wood now. Sean runs to wake the neighbors. I pick up the kids and run across the street. Children, safety, children, safety...

I bang on the neighbors door directly across from our house. No answer. I hear a man running down the street with a cell phone, yelling our address into the phone. I collapse into a chair on the porch. A front row seat to the burning of our home.

After waking up our neighbours on one side, Sean is now racing to the other side, and not a moment too soon, because the fire has already reached their house. They have three boys. Two of the boys have their rooms closest to our house. I am starting to panic. "Please God, let them wake up." Sean is frantically banging and kicking the door for what seems like an eternity, until finally they stumble out.

The fire trucks are not here yet. Only minutes have passed, but when you are watching your life burn to the ground, they can't get there fast enough.

Now that we are all safe, my focus turns to the consuming fire. "Will nothing be salvaged?", I ask God. Hysterics are rising and seizing my throat. A voice comes from the back of my head..."It will all be gone, but you will remain"

My son is on my lap and turns to look at me. He's never heard these sounds come from me. It's his eyes that snap me out of my emotional downward spin.

I am now only aware of one thing....Love. My children, my husband, my dogs, our lives.

And so begins the birth pains of a new life.